Monday, April 13, 2015

Beware, the Kraken!

The Kraken, a mysterious water-dwelling creature with sharp teeth and a putrid stench, used to live with my humans in Florida.  I know what you're thinking, "how on Earth could two humans afford to feed a pet with such a massive appetite for the catch of the day?"  OK.  You caught me.  My humans never had a razor-toothed beast living in their swimming pool; but, they did have a Jack Russell Terrier that closely emulated the disgruntled sea monster that has terrorized pirates for centuries.  Don't believe me?  Take a look for yourself (brace yourself, it's scary!):

Don't be fooled by his innocent, doe-eyed appearance. This Jack Russell Terrier (aptly named Jack) could tear the flesh right off of your bones!  OK, so he could be defeated by a clap of thunder or a big dude named Chris, but that is totally not relevant.  Jack was my human dad's dog, and he was quite the character.  He growled a lot, and loved to show his yellowing fangs with every snarl.  He would instantaneously transform if a human so much as thought about clipping his long, sharp, perfect-for-chalkboard-scratching nails.  But why did the humans call Jack the Kraken?  Well, if you must know, his breath smelled like rotting halibut and water was his favorite habitat.  He loved the water so much that once, when the humans took him to a local dog park with a lake, he jumped in the lake and started swimming laps - and then refused to get out!  Try getting a Jack Russell Terrier with a mean streak out of a large lake.  Think about that for awhile.

Eventually he got out of the lake, and many years later the humans brought me home.  I only had the opportunity to know Jack for a short period of time before he went where Krakens go when they leave Earth, but I loved him - gnarly Kraken breath and all.  Even though he was old and grumpy when we first met, he welcomed me into the pack; and for that, I am grateful.   So, whenever I watch Pirates of the Caribbean and the Kraken eats Jack Sparrow (ironic, right?) I think of Jack (the terrier, not the pirate).  I also think of him whenever I smell halibut.  Touche.

Cheers to you, Jack!  Wherever you are, I hope that you are swimming laps and terrorizing pirates.

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