Mischief Monday: The Mysterious Case of White Lightning

It's Monday.  I hate Mondays.  I like the relaxed, no-schedule feel of the weekends:  sleep in, eat all day, watch movies, chase the lizards - you know, the usual.  Mondays are just the worst.  Waking up early after a night of partying and having to head into work and deal with some co-worker accusing you of having a case of the Mondays.  (I may or may not be confusing my life with the movie Office Space.  Not sure yet.)  In order to make my Mondays a little less mundane, I like to shake things up.  That's why I become White Lightning on Mondays.  I move so fast through the house and commit run-by fruitings throughout the day (just kidding, this time I am confusing myself with Mrs. Doubtfire).  But I do like to burglarize my human brothers.  Before you call the cops, let me explain....

I love building with Legos.  I build towers and castles and bridges...so many things to create!  But, since I have little paws, I am restricted to using the Lego Duplo blocks.

Don't get me wrong, the Duplo blocks are great!  Bright colors, and easy to build with.  I mean, look, I made this awesome truck stop with a port-a-potty that is accessible only by rowboat.

The Duplo blocks smell great, too.  Sometimes, when no one is looking, I take just a lick...and then my eyes roll back in my head and I lose all control.  I must. eat. the. Legos. 

That's when I sneak into my older human brother's room.  He has an amazing Lego box filled with the tiniest of Legos.  Oh, they smell delicious!

I look to the left.

And then I look to the right.  I have to make sure that no one is watching.

And then I strike.  Fast like white lightning!  I go in for the kill - the Legos are mine!  All mine!

I stop for a minute to survey the goods.  Oh, what a wonderful bounty of Legos I have stolen!

My favorite is rolling the Legos around in my mouth, especially the little ones.  The smaller the better, because then I can hide them in my jowls and make my humans pull them out one by one. (Sidenote:  if you look closely, you will see some Shih-Tzu legs in this photo.  My sisters are supposed to be working lookout).

And then my older human brother walks in and catches me red-pawed.  Notice the two doofuses in the back.  Some lookout team I've got.

Of course, my older human brother has to tell the big human.  And then I have to sit in the corner for eating the Legos, because if you do the crime, you do the time - apparently.  Don't worry, I'll poop under his bed talk to him about the tattling later.

Next time, I have to swoop in like the White Lightning that I am, steal the goods, and make my escape.  And when my older human brother complains that some Legos are missing, I'll just blame the pug.